‘Are You The Pharmacy?’
December 4th, 2008
Ugly Fat Woman: I need to speak to the pharmacy.
Me (saying): Yes ma’am, how can I help you!
Me (thinking): Damn it, it’s 10 minutes to closing. What the hell does she want?
UFW: Are you the pharmacy?
Me (saying): Yes ma’am.
Me (thinking): Nnnoh!
UFW: I’m on a fluid pill and my legs are swelling up. I’m all out of medicine. Can you give me some?
Me (saying): Do you have a script with us?
Me (thinking): You better have a script with us.
UFW: No, but can you just sell me some for a couple bucks?
Me (saying): I’m sorry ma’am I can’t. It’s against the law. I will need an actual script to fill it.
Me (thinking): You fucking idiot. You’re gonna stand there, with your ugly fat baby in your chips-soda-cheese-filled shopping cart, wasting your breath and my time, thinking that I will just sell you some fluid pills. Are you kidding me?
UFW: Oh ok, thank you.
Me (saying): You have a good evening ma’am.
Me (thinking): And get hit by a bus on your way out.
Phar-ma-cist [fahr-muh-sist] -noun : a person licensed to prepare and dispense drugs and medicines.
Phar-ma-cy [fahr-muh-see] -noun: a drugstore.