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Dan Truong is irrevocably the most overrated singer, ever. His whinny crooning and unduly assertive vibrato sicken the ears and evoke auditory suicide to music fundamentalists. Cam Ly, while still maintaining a quality vocal, has relatively little new to offer. Yet somehow, I was thrilled when the two collaborate in Em La Hanh Phuc Doi Anh. I couldn’t wait to hit that play button. Stupid, stupid me. The album turns out disastrous in every facet, even with some spanking new tunes from Minh Vy.

Every track is befouled by either synthetic accompaniment, clumsy arrangement, or frivolous embellishment and off-key harmonization by Dan Truong. The album opens with a peculiar instrumentation that’s neither here nor there. The title track is well composed and would have been passable without Dan Truong’s anemic vocals. The massacre continues in “Hoi Long Them Lan Nua” and “Den Giay Phut Nay Day,” where sissy-ass Dan Truong once again destroys all that is good in Vietnamese music. “Chuyen Tinh Buon Con Gai” is simply a rescript of the familiar “Hoi Nguoi Tinh,” and while the lyrics flow freely, I still prefer Ngoc Lan’s rendition. Another strong track is “Ngay Mai Xa Cach,” where the sobbing saxophone perfectly transcribes the bereaved love story.

Em La Hanh Phuc Doi Anh is a failure from the get-go. Heck, any album with Dan Truong’s name on it is a failure. I hope this guy would just quit singing altogether.

Definitely not one of the better collaborations by JT. It’s not “Dead and Gone,” that’s for sure. But check out the very suggestive video. Beyonce ain’t got nothing on that bod.

When it comes to music, Thanh Thao doesn’t do cheap. Her latest album Thao (Vi Em Con Yeu) costs her four trips to the States, rings up the largest bill, and requires the most amount of time to complete in her entire career. Her effort didn’t go unnoticed. The album turns out to be a quality pop production, with some pretty damn fluid beat and catchy melody. It does, however, get old after a few spins.

Thao kicks off with a melancholic intro about a lost love (Quang Dung, totally), leading to one of two slow tracks in the album. “Vi Sao Chi Co Anh” is superior in vocals but disastrous in arrangement. The inclusion of “dan nhi” entirely killed the temperament, and the acoustic during the bridge seemed out of place. The other slow track, “Vi Em Con Yeu,” is definitely my favorite. It leaves me longing for more despondency from the vocalist.

Most of the tempo allegro tracks are infixed with intermittent rapping, which can be vexatious at times, especially in “Mai Mat Nhau Trong Doi.” Thanh Thao has already beaten her “bup be” image to the ground but contends to do so in “Bup Be Buon.” The song takes me on a vicious cycle of human emotions. I went from hating the song to totally digging it, then back to extremely hating it.

Kudos to Thanh Thao for willing to ditch out extra cash to ensure a quality album. Thao proves to be one of her stronger releases in quite some time.

Confounded! It takes me a while to realize “If You Seek Amy” spells out “F-U-C-K Me.” Of course, the video is filled with S&M and orgies. Kinda brilliant actually, and the song is quite good. Check out the lyrics.

Following the success of their first collaboration Vi Ta Can Nhau, Quang Dung and Hong Nhung return to nostalgia in Co Dau Bao Gio, a refreshing brew of quality vocals and analeptic arrangement.

Right from the start, the album abducts its listeners into the romanticism of nhac Trinh with a charming implementation of vocal harmony. In “Tu Tinh Khuc,” each singer takes turn to lead while the other falls back airily. Quang Dung’s baritone caters perfect consonance to Hong Nhung’s tenor, and vice versa. This same chemistry is embedded in each and every duet track.

The single tracks are of no lesser hypnotism. Quang Dung declares king of nhac Trinh with a powerful rendition of “Xin Cho Toi,” while Hong Nhung exerts herself as a skillful vocalist in “Ru Em Tung Ngon Xuan Nong.” The bridge piece is especially sexy. Her cover of “Ru Doi Di Nhe,” however, is a bit weak vocally. I much prefer Thanh Lam’s take on the song.

What distinguishes Co Dau Bao Gio from all other Trinh albums is not only the quality of the vocals, but also the ingenious arrangement by Hoai Sa. He experiments with vocal improvisation in “Tinh Sau” and makes scat singing work while still maintaining the compositional drama of the song. In “Ngau Nhien” he utilizes a soft rallentando to end and bows out with a cadence run of the piano.

Co Dau Bao Gio showcases perhaps two of the best vocal interpreters of nhac Trinh accompanied by a masterful arrangement. The album truly is a “tuyet pham” for the ages.

I haven’t done a music review in quite a while. I just can’t find a new release worthy enough, a fresh voice enticing enough to commit to and write a review on. So if you have a favorite album or singer that you recommend or want me to review, please shoot me an email at squiggle at logicgui dot com. I’m athirst for good music.

Most comedy skits on Thuy Nga, Asia, and Van Son are just straight up lame. The below routine by Van Son and Bao Liem isn’t one of them. The incorporation of popular song, the rapping, the hilarious acting turn this skit into one of my favorites. It takes a lot to entertain me, and this one got it right.

Check out the rhymes by Van Son.

Anh yêu em như gió yêu mây
Như cây yêu núi
Như lúa yêu phân
Như lân yêu pháo
Như cháu yêu ông
Như sông yêu cá
Như má yêu ba
Như da yêu thịt
Như vịt yêu bèo
Như kèo yêu cột
Như bột yêu bao
Như dao yêu thớt
Như nhớt yêu xăng
Như trăng yêu lưỡi
Như bưởi yêu bồng
Như chồng yêu vợ
Như chợ yêu hàng
Như bàn yêu ghế
Như dế yêu hang
Như gan yêu thận
Như mận yêu đào
Như cào yêu cuốc
Như thuốc yêu than
Như lan yêu điệp
Như bịp yêu bộm
Như trộm yêu tiền
Như kiềng yêu cổ
Như thổ yêu nguyên
Như thiên yêu địa
Như phịa yêu dốc
Như cóc với nhái yêu nhau

It depends who you ask. Ask Dam Vinh Hung and he’ll tell you handsomely. Ask Quoc Khanh and he’ll roll his eyes. Here’s a list of Vietnamese singers’ most recent asking price for one concert. I’m not sure how authentic this is, but it’s gotta be pretty close.

The Overpriced Club

Đàm Vĩnh Hưng – $8000 – $9000 (are you kidding me?)
Mỹ Tâm – $6000
Quang Dũng – $4000
Kiều Oanh & Lê Hùynh – $4000 (so not worth it)

The 3k Club

Tuấn Hưng – $3800
Phan Đing Tùng – $3500
Thanh Thảo – $3500
Vân Quang Long – $3500
Bàng Kiều – $3200
Minh Tuyết – $3200
Như Quỳnh – $3000
Quang Minh & Hồng Đào – $3000

The 2k Club

Như Loan – $2500
Thu Phương – $2300
Bảo Hân – $2000
Tâm Đoan – $2000 (decent price)
Cát Tiên – $2000
Hồ Lệ Thu – $2000 (gotta pay off boobs job)

The 1k Club

Hương Thủy – $1800
Thiên Kim – $1700
Dương Triệu Vũ – $1700 (no way)
Andy Quách – $1700 (no, no, no)
Nguyễn Hồng Nhung – $1500
Lâm Thúy Vân – $1500
Trish – $1500
Nguyễn Thắng – $1500 (overpriced)
Linda Chou – $1300
Trịnh Lam – $1300
Lâm Nhật Tiến – $1200
Ngọc Huyền – $1200 (this chick can’t even sing)
Cardin – $1200
Huy Vũ – $1200 (a little too cheap)
Đặng Thế Luân – $1000

The Walmart Club

Đoàn Phi – $800
Johnny Dũng – $800
Tuấn Vũ – $800
Quốc Khanh – $700
Huỳnh Gia Tuấn – $700

I’ve always preferred a thick, bass-baritone male vocal (Don Ho, Nguyen Khang, Quang Dung) over a whiny falsetto register (Bang Kieu, Lam Nhat Tien, Luong Tung Quang). It is no surprising that I find this performance by Duc Tuan quite enthralling, barring the heavy accent. His transition is effortless, his vibrato flawless. And it’s live. Suck on that Thuy Nga.

Cue to 2:50.

Hugh Jackman’s version isn’t bad either.

Her vocal is mediocre at best. But there’s nothing mediocre about those babies. And they’re real. Thuy Nga’s gotta get her back on stage.