Logicgui.com

Weekend at work is always interesting. I get a lot of Adderall prescriptions with 3 refills, a lot of phone calls asking if we have “Roxi” in stock, and a lot of questions whether or not we fill out-of-state narcotic prescriptions. Fake, no, and hell no!

Today is no different. A rather well-kept lady came up to the counter asking to speak to a pharmacist. Apparently she has a mouth ulcer. Her dentist friend wants to call in a prescription for her. She gave me a torn up piece of paper and asked me to call the number to get the prescription.

“I’m sorry ma’am, your doctor would have to call us,” I responded.
“Well, it’s his cell phone number and he can’t call on a cell phone,” she quickly fired back.

That makes no fucking sense to me. But we were slow, and I needed some entertainment. So I dialed the number. A man picked up. When I asked for his NPI number, he gave me his DEA number. He dictated a prescription for an antibiotic and wanted to give her something for pain, Vicodin. Great Dr. Fakey Fake, but we don’t take out-of-state prescriptions for Vicodin. “Ok, then just give her OTC naproxen.”

I hung up the phone and walked up to the lady.

“So what did he called in for me?”
“He called in an antibiotic”
“That’s it? Anything else?”
“Yes, he also called in something for pain, but I can’t take that prescription since he’s out-of-state. He said to get Aleve instead.”
“Ok, what kind of antibiotic is it because I think I already have that in my car.”
“Amoxicillin.”
“Oh, let me go out to my car and check to see if it’s the same.”

Out the door she went, and never came back.

Surprise, surprise!

Me: Hi Ms. B, this is Me calling from the Pharmacy. How are you doing today?
Ms. B: I have a house full of guests right now, can we get to the point?
Me (thinking): WTF? I hope you choke on your own saliva and die, bitch!

For a high-end retail chain, my pharmacy is filled with a bunch of narcissists.

Calling a patient about his prescription while counting out Lipitor at the same time:

Phone: Ring, ring
Me (counting): 5, 10, 15, 20
Phone: Ring
Me: 25, 30 Lipitor
Patient: Hello?
Me: Hello Mr. Lipitor, this is Logicgui calling from the Pharmacy

I don’t mind giving flu shots. I actually enjoy sticking people.

I look forward to slowly penetrating a 23 gauge, 1 1/2 inch needle into the bastards who made me call their insurance company to inquire about their high copay when I have a million other stuff to do.

What I do mind, however, is all the extraneous activities I have to do along with giving flu shots.

What activities you ask?

Making sure patient is indicated, calling MD to get a RX, typing up the RX, labeling the RX, drawing up the shot, completing pre-vaccination questionnaires, ringing up patient, giving shot, finishing post-vaccination questionnaires, monitoring patient, discharging patient, faxing MD required forms, filing such forms.

Don’t forget all the daily activities including dispensing, verifying, counseling, answering phones, taking stupid tech questions, fixing stupid tech mistakes, calling insurance company, getting transfers, receiving doctor calls.

Since the implementation of this program, my responsibilities as a pharmacist have tripled. And so did my liability. There’s always a chance that a patient could turn pale (twice), break out in rash (once), or go into anaphylactic shock (none, thank God).

Frankly, making sure I don’t misfill and making sure my flu shot patient doesn’t collapse is becoming quite overwhelming.

But Corporate Heads don’t give a damn about any of that. They just care about the money, over $2 million in three weeks from the flu shots to be exact.

How much of that money gets back to me? None.

I do get, however, a big pat on the back for doing a terrific job.

Yep, that fucking pat is supposed to make it all worthwhile.

I wouldn’t be surprised if I come into work tomorrow, check my email, and find out that while filling 300 scripts, I have 2 MRIs, an X-ray, and a bypass surgery to do by 9 o’clock.

This store is kicking my butt. I’ve been so tired lately after work I didn’t even feel like posting anything. With vaccination in full swing, flu season approaching, and being short one tech, I feel like my head is gonna blow.

To make things worse, my partner is on a medical leave of absence. That means I have to deal with different floaters every week, floaters who don’t give a damn about anything except taking their sweet time verifying and getting out the door by 9 o’clock regardless of the mess behind.

I want to take a vacation. But the thought of having to clean up someone’s mess when I come back makes it almost not worth going away.

It’s hard to believe. I’m actually planning my life around work.

It was quite easy actually. I didn’t even have to fire her. She accumulated 3 no-show-no-calls in a month. It’s been 2 days, and the pharmacy is looking up already. I got rid of her and my conscious is still clear. Good-bye Katie Kaboom. You won’t be missed.

…I just want to bang on my drum all day. Unfortunately, drum banging is not an option even on my days off. This pharmacy needs a revamp so bad I gotta work it from the ground up, from doing the schedule myself to making some personnel changes. Paperwork is stacking up like crazy. The only way for me to catch up is to work at home. I’m trying to accomplish too much in too little time.

But, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither can this pharmacy. It’ll take some time for it to stand neck and neck with its rival siblings. Hopefully I won’t get burned out by then.

They say you’re not a real boss until you fire somebody. At this rate, I’m well on my way to becoming a real boss. I have every intention of letting this tech go. Everybody in the pharmacy hates her. Whenever she’s around, the atmosphere gets tense as if death draws near. Not a single person says a word. She never completes her tasks, finds every opportunity to digress, and loves to boss people around. When being corrected, she throws a fit and turns into Katie Kaboom. I’m not ready for a child at home and sure ain’t ready for a child at work. With this company, it takes a million paperwork and quadrillion corrective actions before someone is let go. Maybe I’ll fire her on my last day before retirement.

You know your job rocks when you work 8 consecutive 9- to 12-hour days and still have the energy to sing karaoke until 2 in the morning, only to get up at 6 to drive an hour to work, and loving it!

Mr. John Biggerrod wanted to fill both his Cialis and his Viagra. He came in with a box of condoms and a grin. Female tech, “Thank you, have a good evening.” He winked, “Oh, I will.”

If your kids don’t behave in school, give them Adderall. If they don’t behave in the car, give them Benadryl. That will knock the little brats out for a peaceful 6-hour drive. Damn I love overmedicated America. It sure pays my bills.

I am now fully certified to administer vaccination. Yeah, a real fucking honor. Last time I checked, “PharmD” follows my name, not “RN.”

A guy wanted to get 10 Plavix filled because he couldn’t afford all 30 at a time. I felt bad for him, until I saw what’s on his wrist, a shinny gold Rolex. The guy has priority issues.

Overheard a woman on her cell at the condoms aisle:

“Which one, Extra or Super Plus? Are you sure it’ll fit. What if it doesn’t work? Yes, the Super Plus has more absorbency.”

Absorbency? I looked up. She was talking about diapers, not condoms. That explains the absorbency.

It always seems that all the nice people get high co-pays, while the fat-ass, wide-mouth fuckers get a $0.50 co-pays. Until today. A pleasant lady’s chemo drug was $4,450. Her co-pay was zero. Nice!

Two more dragging hours to go.