October 17th, 2009
Calling a patient about his prescription while counting out Lipitor at the same time:
Phone: Ring, ring
Me (counting): 5, 10, 15, 20
Phone: Ring
Me: 25, 30 Lipitor
Patient: Hello?
Me: Hello Mr. Lipitor, this is Logicgui calling from the Pharmacy
October 12th, 2009
I don’t mind giving flu shots. I actually enjoy sticking people.
I look forward to slowly penetrating a 23 gauge, 1 1/2 inch needle into the bastards who made me call their insurance company to inquire about their high copay when I have a million other stuff to do.
What I do mind, however, is all the extraneous activities I have to do along with giving flu shots.
What activities you ask?
Making sure patient is indicated, calling MD to get a RX, typing up the RX, labeling the RX, drawing up the shot, completing pre-vaccination questionnaires, ringing up patient, giving shot, finishing post-vaccination questionnaires, monitoring patient, discharging patient, faxing MD required forms, filing such forms.
Don’t forget all the daily activities including dispensing, verifying, counseling, answering phones, taking stupid tech questions, fixing stupid tech mistakes, calling insurance company, getting transfers, receiving doctor calls.
Since the implementation of this program, my responsibilities as a pharmacist have tripled. And so did my liability. There’s always a chance that a patient could turn pale (twice), break out in rash (once), or go into anaphylactic shock (none, thank God).
Frankly, making sure I don’t misfill and making sure my flu shot patient doesn’t collapse is becoming quite overwhelming.
But Corporate Heads don’t give a damn about any of that. They just care about the money, over $2 million in three weeks from the flu shots to be exact.
How much of that money gets back to me? None.
I do get, however, a big pat on the back for doing a terrific job.
Yep, that fucking pat is supposed to make it all worthwhile.
I wouldn’t be surprised if I come into work tomorrow, check my email, and find out that while filling 300 scripts, I have 2 MRIs, an X-ray, and a bypass surgery to do by 9 o’clock.
September 19th, 2009
This store is kicking my butt. I’ve been so tired lately after work I didn’t even feel like posting anything. With vaccination in full swing, flu season approaching, and being short one tech, I feel like my head is gonna blow.
To make things worse, my partner is on a medical leave of absence. That means I have to deal with different floaters every week, floaters who don’t give a damn about anything except taking their sweet time verifying and getting out the door by 9 o’clock regardless of the mess behind.
I want to take a vacation. But the thought of having to clean up someone’s mess when I come back makes it almost not worth going away.
It’s hard to believe. I’m actually planning my life around work.
September 16th, 2009
It was quite easy actually. I didn’t even have to fire her. She accumulated 3 no-show-no-calls in a month. It’s been 2 days, and the pharmacy is looking up already. I got rid of her and my conscious is still clear. Good-bye Katie Kaboom. You won’t be missed.
August 20th, 2009
…I just want to bang on my drum all day. Unfortunately, drum banging is not an option even on my days off. This pharmacy needs a revamp so bad I gotta work it from the ground up, from doing the schedule myself to making some personnel changes. Paperwork is stacking up like crazy. The only way for me to catch up is to work at home. I’m trying to accomplish too much in too little time.
But, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither can this pharmacy. It’ll take some time for it to stand neck and neck with its rival siblings. Hopefully I won’t get burned out by then.
August 11th, 2009
They say you’re not a real boss until you fire somebody. At this rate, I’m well on my way to becoming a real boss. I have every intention of letting this tech go. Everybody in the pharmacy hates her. Whenever she’s around, the atmosphere gets tense as if death draws near. Not a single person says a word. She never completes her tasks, finds every opportunity to digress, and loves to boss people around. When being corrected, she throws a fit and turns into Katie Kaboom. I’m not ready for a child at home and sure ain’t ready for a child at work. With this company, it takes a million paperwork and quadrillion corrective actions before someone is let go. Maybe I’ll fire her on my last day before retirement.
July 28th, 2009
You know your job rocks when you work 8 consecutive 9- to 12-hour days and still have the energy to sing karaoke until 2 in the morning, only to get up at 6 to drive an hour to work, and loving it!
Mr. John Biggerrod wanted to fill both his Cialis and his Viagra. He came in with a box of condoms and a grin. Female tech, “Thank you, have a good evening.” He winked, “Oh, I will.”
If your kids don’t behave in school, give them Adderall. If they don’t behave in the car, give them Benadryl. That will knock the little brats out for a peaceful 6-hour drive. Damn I love overmedicated America. It sure pays my bills.
I am now fully certified to administer vaccination. Yeah, a real fucking honor. Last time I checked, “PharmD” follows my name, not “RN.”
July 11th, 2009
A guy wanted to get 10 Plavix filled because he couldn’t afford all 30 at a time. I felt bad for him, until I saw what’s on his wrist, a shinny gold Rolex. The guy has priority issues.
Overheard a woman on her cell at the condoms aisle:
“Which one, Extra or Super Plus? Are you sure it’ll fit. What if it doesn’t work? Yes, the Super Plus has more absorbency.”
Absorbency? I looked up. She was talking about diapers, not condoms. That explains the absorbency.
It always seems that all the nice people get high co-pays, while the fat-ass, wide-mouth fuckers get a $0.50 co-pays. Until today. A pleasant lady’s chemo drug was $4,450. Her co-pay was zero. Nice!
Two more dragging hours to go.
May 9th, 2009
I may possibly be the nicest pharmacist you’ll ever meet. You can grumble about the cost of your meds with me for 15 minutes on the phone when I have 10 waiters to verify. You can tell me to fill “whatever needed to be filled” when the last time you picked up anything was 6 months ago. Heck, you can even bring your bras and pantyhose to the pharmacy counter to check out. I’ll ring you up, eventhough I didn’t pay $10,000 a semester in pharmacy school to fold your fucking underwear. But that’s ok, I don’t mind. I’m a nice guy.
But do not expect me to take your prescriptions at drop-off while you’re still busy yapping on the phone. Soon enough, your idiocy will catch up to you when you’re huffing and puffing your way to the ER because you forgot to tell me you’re allergic to sulfa and the doctor prescribed you Bactrim.
The same goes for pick-up. Your uncontrollable yapping may deter me from warning you that amoxicillin will decrease the effectiveness of your birth control. Just don’t blame me nine months later when you’re spawning a new generation of idiotic yapping babies.
Other than that, I’m probably the nicest pharmacist you’ll ever meet.
May 7th, 2009
Ok, “love” is an exaggeration. But sometimes, working retail is quite gratifying. In the past week, I got to fill Mr. John Biggerrod his Cialis , miss Phyllis Herpes her Valtrex, rinsed perfume out of a kid’s eye, helped an illiterate man remember how to take his meds, and got a woman to flop out her bare breasts to show me her rash. Yeah, top that you vanco-troughing, aminoglycosides-dosing hospital pharmacists.
HIPPA notice: the above names and incidents may be fictitious. I can’t really decipher because I’m tired and delirious.